


I'll Be Your Secret

by BeckyHarvey29



Series: Secret Lovers [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Jealousy, M/M, Secret Relationship, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 22:19:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11655864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeckyHarvey29/pseuds/BeckyHarvey29
Summary: The prequel to Two Can't Keep a Secret. The story of how Ian and Mickey first hooked up, and the events that occurred in the weeks after.





	I'll Be Your Secret

Mickey was in the bathroom toweling himself dry when he heard the incessant knocking coming from the front door. 

“Fuck, wait a minute!” Mickey yelled. Whoever was pounding on his door was irritating the fuck out of him. It was probably the neighbor down the hall’s booty call getting the apartments mixed up again.

He wrapped his towel around his waist as he padded through the living room, grumbling under his breath and leaving a trail of wet footprints behind himself. 

“I said fuckin’ hold on!” he exclaimed again when the knocking continued.

He looked through the fish-eyed peephole, seeing a shock of red hair. He pressed his forehead against the door and sighed heavily. He opened the door reluctantly, not giving Ian a chance to speak. “Shoulda fuckin’ called first; Mandy’s not here.”

Ian ran a hand through his hair and shuffled his weight a little. His eyes dropped to take in Mickey’s damp, towel-clad body, and then he looked back up to find Mickey smirking at him. “Can I come in? I… I need someone to talk to.” 

Mickey rubbed a hand down his face. “You wanna talk?” On Ian’s nod, he continued. “You and me don’t talk.” 

“Please?” Ian pleaded. “At least let me come in and wait for Mandy to get home, then.”

“She’s working a double tonight,” Mickey countered. “She won’t be home ‘til after midnight.” 

“Shit,” Ian muttered, rubbing the back of his neck and sneaking a look down the hallway. He then looked back at Mickey, his eyes pleading. 

Mickey regarded Ian, taking in his bloodshot eyes and the smell of alcohol on his breath. “Are you drunk? You smell like a goddamn bar.”

Ian shrugged and said, “I just had a couple beers.”

Mickey sighed and pressed his forehead to the edge of the door. He'd been really fucking looking forward to taking advantage of the empty apartment for the night. He had fully intended on playing some video games, shoving his face with beer and pizza, maybe even jacking off a little… 

Ian’s impromptu visit was throwing his plans completely off track. But he knew he couldn’t turn Ian away. It was clear that his little sister's best friend had some shit going on.

“Fuck it, come in,” Mickey groused, begrudgingly holding the door open for Ian to enter.

“You sure?”

“You wanna fuckin’ come in or not, Ariel?” Mickey snapped. “I’m not askin’ again.”

“Ariel?”

Mickey rolled his eyes. This fucking guy. “Like… the mermaid? With the red hair?” When Ian frowned, Mickey snapped, “Just get the fuck in.”

“Thanks.” Ian smiled gingerly, brushed past Mickey, and entered the apartment.

Mickey closed the door behind him and turned to watch Ian toe out of his shoes. Ian always took it upon himself to make himself at home anytime he stopped by, which was almost every fucking night. 

Despite Mickey’s annoyance, he decided to be hospitable. “You, uh, you want a beer? Mandy has some fruity wine shit in there, too.”

“No, I think I should lay off the alcohol for the rest of the night. Had enough,” Ian said as he made himself comfortable on the couch, feet propped on the coffee table next to Mickey’s snacks, and everything. 

Mickey couldn’t be too sure, but he thought maybe Ian was checking him out in his towel. He took that as his cue to go get dressed. “I’m gonna get dressed. Gimme a minute.” He turned to head towards his bedroom, missing the way Ian craned his neck to check out Mickey’s ass.

A few minutes later, Mickey walked back into the living room clad in sweatpants and an old t-shirt to find Ian blankly watching TV. He grabbed a beer for himself, and then sat down on the other end of the couch, making sure to keep some distance between them. He watched the old sitcom rerun for a couple minutes before sneaking a look at Ian. 

“So, what the fuck’s up?”

“Nothing,” Ian sighed after a pause. “It’s stupid.”

“Fuck that,” Mickey snapped. “You show up half-drunk, pounding on my door like a fuckin’ jackass, and you want to tell me nothing’s wrong? Bullshit.”

Ian rested his head back on the couch and turned his eyes to Mickey. “I know you’re just being nice. You don’t wanna hear about my problems.”

Mickey would never admit it in a million years, but it stung a little to know that Ian didn’t see the two of them as friends. He quickly pushed those absurd thoughts away and threw Ian a pointed look. “If you wanna fuckin’ talk, talk. Now’s your chance.”

Ian sat forward a little and rubbed his palms over his jeans. “Um, well, you know how I’ve been seeing that guy Nick for a few weeks now? Well, he’s kinda been pushing me to—”

“Wait, you’re having fuckin’ guy problems?” Mickey groused. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to Ian about his fucking guy problems. He didn’t want to think too much about why he didn’t want to discuss that particular topic.

“Forget it. I knew you didn’t wanna hear it.” Ian sighed, sitting back. “I’ll just wait for Mandy to get home.” 

Mickey thumbed his nose and sighed. “Fuck it. At least let me get high first before we discuss your stupid shit.” He stood up and made his way to the small kitchen, grabbing his and Mandy’s special baggie from the drawer by the stove, and then sat back down. 

After Mickey packed a marijuana bowl, he took a nice, long drag and held the smoke in his lungs as he held the bowl out for Ian to take.

Ian seemed reluctant at first, but he took the bowl and took his own deep drag. He immediately sputtered and coughed. “That’s some bad shit.”

“Fuckin’ lightweight,” Mickey mumbled, although there was no bite to his tone. 

Mickey then snuck a look at Ian, allowing himself the fleeting thought that Ian looked really fucking good. It wasn’t the first time he’d had those types of thoughts about Ian— and he knew it wouldn’t be the last time—but he’d gotten really fucking good at hiding his attraction to his sister’s best friend over the years. 

Ian handed the bowl back to Mickey and relaxed back against the couch. “Shit, I needed that.”

Mickey took a few more puffs before he spoke. “So, what the hell do you wanna talk about? I don’t got all night.”

“What? You got a hot date?”

“Talk, asshole.”

Ian chuckled and seemed to hesitate before saying, “I’ve been seein’ this guy Nick for a couple weeks now—”

“Yeah, and?” Mickey snapped when Ian didn’t elaborate. 

“I can’t,” Ian declared, shaking his head, “I can’t talk to you; this is too fuckin’ weird.”

“Jesus Christ.” 

“Oh, come on!” Ian exclaimed, laughing. “You don’t wanna hear about my guy problems! We never talk about this kinda shit with each other. We never really talk about anything. You’re just being nice.”

“Since when do I do something just to be fuckin’ nice?” Mickey retorted before finishing off the marijuana bowl. 

“So, if you didn’t let me in just to be nice, why did you let me in?” Ian asked, taking Mickey by surprise with the question.

Mickey would be lying if he said he wasn’t starting to feel the effects of the weed. He snuck a look back at Ian, his tongue suddenly feeling thick in his mouth. He watched as Ian’s eyes dropped, clearly checking Mickey out… again.

Mickey forced himself to look away, knowing that if they continued eye-fucking each other, it would lead them into dangerous territory. Ian was a temptation that Mickey had promised himself the day he’d met Ian that he would never give in to. 

Ian was Mandy’s friend. He was her best friend. He was completely fucking off limits. 

“You, uh, you wanna play a video game?” Mickey stood up without waiting for an answer to turn on the video game console. His head was starting to feel foggy. He needed to do something with his hands.

“Yeah, sure.”

Mickey walked back to the couch and handed Ian the second controller. They fell into amicable silence for a while and got lost in their game. 

“What the fuck!” Ian exclaimed a little while later after Mickey beat him for the third time in a row. He tossed the controller onto the table, and then sat back against the couch, practically pouting. “I’m done.”

Mickey laughed heartily, feeling warm and fuzzy and happy from the weed. “Didn’t take you for a fuckin’ quitter, Gallagher.” He glanced back at Ian, his eyes falling to Ian’s slightly-jutted bottom lip. Fuck.

“Fuck you.” Ian laughed and glanced at his watch. “When did you say Mandy was going to be home?”

“Around midnight.”

Ian sighed and rested his head back against the back of the couch. “So, I still have two more hours to wait. Great. Maybe I should just go see her at the diner, get out of your hair.”

Mickey found himself not wanting Ian to leave. He chalked it up to the weed fucking with his head. “Nah, man. You’re half-drunk and high as a fuckin’ kite. You really think it’s a good idea for you to leave? We're in the middle of the South Side, and it’s a ten-block walk to the diner.” 

Ian lifted his head and smirked. “You worried about me, Mickey?”

“Fuck you, man,” Mickey snapped, immediately looking away from that cocky smirk and intense eyes. “I just know Mandy would kick my ass if I let you leave while you’re like this.” 

Ian sat forward, his knee brushing against Mickey’s as he did so. “Well, if I’m staying, I might as well take that beer you offered earlier.” 

Mickey immediately stood up, anxious to put some distance between himself and Ian. 

What the fuck was going on? Why was he suddenly so fucking attracted to his sister’s best friend? It’s not like he didn’t know Ian was attractive before; Mickey did have fucking eyes. But now… now Mickey found himself looking a little too long, liking the way Ian smelled a little too much. Found himself wondering what Ian’s lips would taste like in a fucking kiss… 

After grabbing two beers, Mickey sat back down on the couch, making sure to keep a full cushion between them. He handed Ian his beer and their fingers brushed. He felt something in that touch and immediately stood back up. 

“Uh, fuck. Maybe… maybe you should just go. I forgot that I have some shit to do.”

“Some shit to do?” Ian asked, humor in his tone. “You were literally just talking me into staying two minutes ago.”

“Tough shit, you need to go,” Mickey snapped. “Now.”

Ian nodded and stood up. “Okay.” He then moved to brush past Mickey, but he stopped right next to him, their arms brushing. “Thanks for the weed,” he said, his eyes dropping to Mickey’s lips. 

“Yeah. Whatever. See ya,” Mickey stammered, absolutely refusing to look in Ian’s direction. “I’ll tell Mandy you dropped by.” 

Ian continued past Mickey, but then stopped short of reaching the door and turned around. A heavy pause ensued before he said, “You know…I don’t have to go.”

Mickey stared back, swallowing thickly. “The fuck are you talking about?”

“I mean,” Ian began, moving to walk closer. “I can stay… if you want me to.” He stopped just inches from Mickey, his eyes slowly raking down Mickey’s body.

“The fuck you tryin’ to pull, Gallagher?” Mickey asked, his voice rough around the edges. “You have a fight with your asshole boyfriend, so you think you can just come here and start something with me? Ain’t happenin’.”

“Didn’t come here for you. I came here to talk to Mandy,” Ian said, his eyes slowly lifting to meet Mickey’s. “Not my fault you’ve been eye-fuckin’ me since the moment I walked through the door.”

Mickey felt his cheeks flush, and before he knew what was happening, he placed his hands on Ian’s chest and pushed Ian backward a few feet. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” 

Ian was undeterred as he regained his balance. “Don’t I?”

“Fuck you,” Mickey spat. 

“That’s kinda where I’m getting at…”

“Such a cocky motherfucker,” Mickey practically growled before shoving Ian again, this time pushing him back a few feet, and pressing Ian against a wall. Their faces were inches apart, their heavy breathing mingling in the small space that separated them.

“Your move,” Ian muttered, his eyes dropping to Mickey’s lips.

Mickey stepped in just a little bit closer and pressed the palm of his right hand on the wall next to Ian’s head. He searched Ian’s eyes, his heart pounding, and his mind racing. He was high as a kite and fucking horny as all hell, and Ian looked too fucking good to turn down, so the decision was easy, really. 

“Mandy ever finds out about this, I’ll kick your fuckin’ ass.”

“She won’t find out,” Ian assured. His eyes searched Mickey’s face, and then he leaned in tentatively.

Mickey turned his head, causing Ian to kiss his jaw instead. “No fuckin’ kissing,” he spat. “I just want your cock.”

“Now we’re talking,” Ian drawled, the corner of his mouth quirking as he reached down to undo his own belt.

Mickey looked down once Ian’s pants and boxers were down to eye Ian’s half-hard cock. Even semi-hard, it was impressive. “Fuck…”

Ian reached for the bottom of his own t-shirt with crossed arms and tugged it up over his head. He then watched as Mickey continued staring. “You know, this’ll work a whole lot better if you get undressed, too.” He grabbed Mickey by the hips and tugged him closer. 

“Still trying to decide if this is a good idea,” Mickey murmured as Ian reached between them and palmed Mickey’s dick through his sweatpants. “Fuck…starting to feel like a good idea…”

Ian pressed his forehead to Mickey’s and laughed breathlessly. “Last chance to back out.” 

“Might as well finish what you started,” Mickey rasped, and then moaned when Ian shoved his hand down the front of Mickey’s pants. “Just… shit… Mandy can’t ever find out about this, you hear me?” On Ian’s nod, he added, “And it’s a one-time thing. It ain’t happening again.”

“Better make it count, then,” Ian drawled with a smirk before sinking down to his knees.

Mickey stared down and watched as Ian tugged his pants and boxers down, and then he groaned when Ian’s hot mouth engulfed him, his lips stretched deliciously around Mickey’s dick. Mickey grabbed a hold of Ian’s hair and tugged lightly, guiding him. “Shit, man…”

Ian hummed around Mickey’s dick and took him as far as he could, nearly choking as he bobbed his head a few times. He then pulled all the way off and stared up at Mickey, spit gathered at the corners of his lips.

Mickey grabbed a hold of his own dick and slapped it against Ian’s outstretched tongue a few times before pushing his dick past Ian’s lips. 

Ian continued blowing Mickey, taking him to the brink before suddenly pulling back and standing up. 

“The fuck,” Mickey groused breathlessly. “Why the fuck did you stop?”

“That was just the opening act,” Ian said with a cocky smirk as he tugged his clothes the rest of the way off. He then reached for the bottom of Mickey’s t-shirt and helped to tug it over his head. 

Once they were both completely naked, and Mickey grabbed the condom and lube from the bedroom, they resettled back on the couch.

When Ian sat down and motioned for Mickey to straddle him, Mickey didn’t protest. He dug his face into Ian’s neck and slowly began rutting against him, their cocks hard and leaking and sliding together against their stomachs. Mickey was past the point of stopping, past the point of holding back. They were doing this. They would deal with the consequences tomorrow.

He was high and horny, and it all felt too fucking good to stop.

“Fuck, man.”

Ian grabbed Mickey’s ass and spread his cheeks apart. Without giving Mickey warning, he lightly circled his finger around Mickey’s hole. “Can’t wait to get in this ass. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought about it before.”

Mickey climbed off of Ian, and then bent over the back of the couch, hefting his left leg onto the arm, exposing himself completely. He glanced over at Ian, not even having to say what he wanted. 

“Best night ever,” Ian muttered as he eyed Mickey’s ass. 

Ian got up and knelt down behind Mickey. He spread him open further, and groaned as Mickey’s asshole clenched. Ian leaned in and softly circled his tongue around the puckered hole. “Taste good,” he murmured as he plunged his tongue in deeper, licking Mickey open. He reached down and stroked his own dick, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to hold off much longer. 

Mickey gripped the back of the couch and made incredible noises as Ian ate him out. Ian’s tongue felt fucking incredible in his ass, mouthing at his balls, licking his perineum, biting at his cheeks. Mickey knew he would blow his load in no time if Ian didn’t stop.

“I’m ready,” Mickey gasped. “Just… loosen me up a little and get on me.”

Ian stood up and grabbed the lube. He slicked two of his fingers, and then pressed them slowly and gently into Mickey. He grabbed a hold of Mickey’s shoulder with his free hand as he loosened him up. “Gonna fuck you so good.” 

“So fuckin’ do it.” 

Ian removed his fingers, rolled the condom on, and then he was entering Mickey, being careful to go slow. He gave Mickey time to adjust. 

“Jesus,” Mickey gasped as he hunched over the back of the couch. Mickey had had some good dick in his life, but Ian definitely took the cake.

Ian ran a hand slowly up Mickey’s spine, and then gently gripped the back of his neck. “You good?” he asked, his voice sounding wrecked. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” Mickey answered.

Ian grabbed Mickey’s right hip with his free hand and began thrusting, burying himself as far as he could inside Mickey’s tight, hot ass.

Mickey pushed back on every thrust, loving the hot sting of Ian’s cock buried in his ass. He reached back and grabbed at Ian’s hip, hinting for him to keep that pace. 

“So good,” Ian groaned as he continued fucking Mickey nice and hard. He leaned forward and nipped at the back of Mickey’s neck. He then placed his mouth next to Mickey’s ear. “Gonna make you feel me for days.”

“Fuck,” Mickey all but whined. 

Ian pulled back and continued fucking Mickey long, hard, and deep, pulling incredible sounds from Mickey.

“Touch me,” Mickey moaned. “Fuck, Ian.”

Ian reached around and tugged Mickey’s cock, groaning when Mickey gasped at the contact.

After a couple dozen thrusts and strokes, Mickey grunted and clutched at the back of the couch, “I’m close,” Mickey moaned. “Fuck, gonna come.” And then Ian’s hand was coated in Mickey’s come. 

“Fuck, Mickey, so fuckin’ hot,” Ian grabbed Mickey’s hips and fucked into him a half dozen times before he came himself. He shuddered and gasped, and his knees nearly gave out. He carefully pulled out of Mickey once he was spent, and collapsed onto the couch. As he caught his breath, he removed and tied off the condom, throwing it to the floor.

Mickey fell onto the cushions next to Ian, his body glistening with sweat and his chest heaving. He shot a quick look in Ian’s direction, finding Ian staring up at the ceiling, seemingly lost in thought. How Ian could even have thoughts right then, Mickey didn’t know.

Without saying anything, Ian stood up and began putting his clothes back on.

Mickey watched him get dressed, not knowing what the fuck to say or do.

“I'll, uh, just call Mandy tomorrow. I should, um… I should go,” Ian said, patting down his messy hair. 

“Yeah,” Mickey grumbled as he grabbed his pack of cigarettes from the coffee table. “You should.”

Ian nodded stiffly after realizing that Mickey wasn’t going to say anything else. He turned and headed for the door. 

“Remember,” Mickey called out. “This never fuckin’ happened.” 

“Got it,” Ian affirmed, and then left.

Once Ian was gone, Mickey shifted and hissed a little at the pain in his ass. He knew he was going to feel Ian for days. The idiot had been right about that.

Mickey then cursed his own fucking bad luck. The best lay of his fucking life, and it just so happened to be his sister’s best friend. The one person on the fucking planet that was off limits to him.

Fuck.

  


* * *

  


 

Two nights later, Mandy said the words that sent Mickey’s heart racing… and not in a good way.

“Ian’s coming over tonight to watch movies. You can join us if you want,” Mandy said as she unpacked the groceries she had brought home with her. “We’re going to order pizza, and he’s bringing beer.” 

Mickey paused his video game and sat back against the couch. He hadn’t seen nor spoken to Ian since their fuck-up two nights before, and he definitely wasn’t looking forward to seeing him again so soon… especially with Mandy around. 

“Nah, I’ll give you two assholes some space to gossip and braid each other’s fuckin’ hair,” Mickey groused. “I’ll just hang out in my room.”

“And do what? Jack off?” Mandy asked with a sneer. “Why don’t you want to hang out with us? I don’t get it. Do you have something against Ian?”

“Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do,” Mickey spat before thinking. “The fuckin’ guy is here too much. I’m about to start fuckin’ charging him rent.”

Mandy rolled her eyes as she went back to putting the milk in the fridge. “Be nice to him. You know, if you actually got to know him a little better, I think the two of you could be really good friends.”

“I don’t need to know him any better,” Mickey mumbled under his breath. He already knew more about Ian than he probably should; he knew Ian’s dick size, how Ian sounded when he came, and the way Ian’s mouth looked stretched around a cock. But Mandy didn’t need to know any of that.

“He just broke up with that guy he’s been seeing today,” Mandy said as she continued unpacking the groceries, completely unaware of Mickey’s newly piqued interest. “I’m glad, the guy was a fuckin’ tool. He treated Ian like absolute shit.”

“Why do you say that?” Mickey asked before he could stop himself. For some inane reason he didn’t even want to comprehend, he felt irrationally protective of Ian in that moment.

Mandy grabbed a diet Coke and joined her brother on the couch. “He kept trying to pressure Ian into having a threesome. Kept asking him to go bareback… shit like that. Like Ian was just some whore instead of his boyfriend.”

Mickey ducked his head and scratched the back of his neck. He absolutely fucking hated the feeling he had in the pit of his stomach all of a sudden.

There was a knock on the door, and Mandy jumped up to answer it.

Mickey remained on the couch, listening as Ian and Mandy talked at the door. A minute later, Ian walked into the living room and stopped dead in his tracks as he and Mickey locked eyes.

“You don’t care if Mickey hangs out with us tonight, do you?” Mandy asked as she put the beer Ian had brought with him in the fridge. 

“Uh,” Ian stammered, averting his eyes away from Mickey’s. “No. No, it’s cool. I don’t care.”

“Good, because it’s my fuckin’ apartment,” Mickey snapped, knowing he had to put up a front. He couldn’t allow Ian to think that anything had changed between them. He was still just Mandy’s best friend to him. That’s all Ian could ever be. 

Mandy laughed as she walked back into the living room and sat on the couch. “Mickey says you’re here too much; he says we should start charging you rent.”

Mickey looked up just in time to see a weird look cross Ian’s face. It almost looked as if Ian was hurt.

“If you don’t want me here, Mick, all you have to do is say something,” Ian said after a pause.

Mickey tore his eyes away and sipped his beer. “It’s whatever, man.”

Mandy spoke, breaking the silence, completely unaware of the weird tension between her brother and best friend. “What movie do you wanna watch?” 

After they had settled on the newest horror release, they got situated on the couch. Mandy had argued that she just had to sit against the arm of the couch, so Mickey found himself wedged between Ian and the opposite arm of the couch.

Ian was so close and smelled so fucking good, and Mickey knew it was going to be a long fucking night. 

Halfway through the movie, Mandy started snoring, no doubt her long day at work getting the best of her.

“I can leave if you want me to,” Ian mumbled, his eyes remaining on the TV. “You know, since I’m not paying rent.”

“Might as well stay and watch the rest of the fuckin’ movie. You're here anyway,” Mickey retorted. 

Ian didn’t say anything to that, just kept watching the movie. 

Ten minutes later, neither one of them mentioned anything when their bare arms touched. 

“Should we talk about what happened the other night?” Ian whispered.

“What the fuck?” Mickey snapped, craning his neck to see if Mandy was still sleeping. “Are you out of your fuckin’ mind? Don’t be talkin’ about that shit while Mandy’s here, asshole.” 

“She’s sleeping,” Ian whispered. “She has drool running down her chin.”

“Doesn’t fuckin’ matter,” Mickey retorted, “and there’s nothing to talk about. Nothing happened, got it?” 

“Oh, so I didn’t blow you, eat your ass, and then fuck you against the couch? I just imagined all that?” Ian retorted in a hoarse whisper. 

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” Mickey grumbled, throwing another cautious look in Mandy's direction. He then shot Ian a heated glare. “We were both high and horny. We both got off. That’s all it was.”

“Are you telling me you didn’t like what we did?”

“Let it the fuck go, Gallagher.” 

“Because I did,” Ian pressed on. “I liked fucking you, Mickey. In fact, I fuckin’ loved it, and I wouldn’t mind doing it again.” 

Mickey looked over and locked eyes with Ian. He couldn’t deny the fact that Ian looked really fucking good in the blue light illuminating from the television. His eyes dropped to Ian’s moist lips. “Doesn’t matter,” he said unconvincingly. “I already told you, it ain’t happening again.” 

“Why not?”

“Because you’re my sister’s best friend, man. That's why,” Mickey bit back. “It happened once, it was a mistake, now move the fuck on.”

They both went back to watching the movie, each stewing in their own annoyance. 

Ian broke the silence a minute later to say, “At least admit that you liked it when I fucked you.” 

“If I admit it, will you shut the fuck up about it?”

“Maybe.” 

“You’re the most annoying fuckin’ asshole I’ve ever met,” Mickey groused. 

“Am I?” 

“Fuck, yeah.” Mickey snapped. The air was thick around them as they stared at each other. He then watched with a racing heart as Ian put his hand on his knee. “The fuck are you doing?” 

One look into Ian’s eyes and Mickey knew Ian’s intent. He swallowed thickly and snuck another glance towards his heavily-snoring, sleeping sister. Before he could think too much about what he was doing, He reached for the blanket behind the couch and draped it over himself and Ian. 

“You’re such a dick,” Mickey breathed.

Ian smiled softly, his hand still on Mickey’s knee.

“Asshole,” Mickey muttered.

Truth was, Mickey had been half-hard since the movie had started, having Ian in such close proximity, and the argument they had just been having had been kind of hot. 

“Try not to move around too much,” Mickey husked as he reached under the blanket and undid his pants. He then rested his head back and bit back a groan when Ian shoved his hand down Mickey’s pants and gripped his dick. 

As Ian focused his eyes back on the television, his hand worked slowly on Mickey’s cock under the blanket. 

Mickey did everything he could to bite back any noises as Ian slowly stroked him. “Fuck, feels fuckin’ good,” he muttered. 

Mickey looked at Ian and eyed his profile, watched as Ian licked his lips; watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed. Fuck, he was beautiful. Mickey then made a decision, one that he knew he was most likely going to regret. “We can’t do this here, not with Mandy right next to us. C’mon.”

He stood up from the couch and headed towards the bathroom. He entered the small room and turned around, finding Ian right behind him. After the door was shut and locked, Mickey said, “Let’s do this quick.”

Ian leaned in to kiss Mickey, but got Mickey’s cheek instead.

“Don’t have time for kissing,” Mickey said pushing his undone pants down his thighs. 

“You’ll let me fuck you and eat your ass, but kissing is out of the question?”

“Why the fuck are you talking right now?”

Ian rolled his eyes and immediately sank to his knees on the cold bathroom floor. He engulfed Mickey’s cock in his tight, hot mouth. He moaned filthily around Mickey’s dick, and dug his fingers into the meat of Mickey’s ass, pulling him closer.

While Ian sucked and slurped at his dick like a pro, Mickey watched as his dick moved in and out of Ian’s mouth. He feathered his fingertips over Ian’s hollowed cheeks. “So fuckin’ good,” he muttered.

Ian opened his eyes and looked up at him. He wrapped a hand around the base of Mickey’s cock and pumped it as his tongue slowly licked at the spongy head. 

Mickey ran a hand through Ian’s hair, and then gripped Ian by the back of the neck as he slowly fucked Ian’s mouth.

After a few dozen thrusts to the back of Ian’s throat, Mickey groaned and grabbed Ian by the hair, pulling Ian’s mouth away from his dick before he came. 

Ian closed his eyes and tilted his head back, allowing Mickey to come all over his chin.

“Fuck,” Mickey drawled breathlessly as he slowly stroked himself, his eyes fixated on Ian’s pretty face. 

When Mickey was finished, Ian stood up, grabbed a few tissues, and wiped at his chin. 

“Ay… c’mere,” Mickey rasped, pulling Ian closer. 

Normally, when Mickey hooked up with someone, he was perfectly content with getting blown and then walking away, leaving the other guy high and dry. But he didn’t want to do that with Ian. Especially not after finding out that the guy Ian had been seeing had basically just been using Ian for sex. For some reason, Mickey didn’t want Ian to feel like that; not with him.

He pressed his forehead against Ian’s, and then reached down between them to shove his hand down the front of Ian’s sweatpants. Ian’s cock was already hard and leaking, and Mickey knew it wouldn’t take much.

Mickey worked his hand steadily on Ian’s dick, secretly loving the noises Ian was making against his neck. Ian was panting and whimpering as his orgasm built, and he held onto Mickey’s shoulders for leverage. 

When Ian ducked his head in a moment of weakness in an attempt to try to kiss Mickey, Mickey let him. They slotted their mouths together and kissed sloppily, both too caught up in the moment to think much of it.

It didn’t take long before Ian was coming hard into Mickey’s fist. 

Mickey pulled away once Ian was finished. Without looking at Ian—as the seriousness of what they had just done hit him—he washed his hands clean of Ian’s come.

Ian cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair as Mickey dried his hands. “So, um, what do you—”

“You go out first,” Mickey interrupted flatly. “I’ll follow in a couple minutes and say I was in my room, that way if Mandy’s up, she won’t think too much about it.”

Ian caught Mickey’s eyes in the reflection of the mirror and eventually nodded. “Yeah,” he said, sounding disappointed. “Okay.” 

“Ay,” Mickey said before Ian could leave the bathroom. “I mean it this time. This was a mistake, a moment of weakness. It ain’t happening again, you hear me?” 

“Loud and clear,” Ian said glumly before leaving the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. In the next instant, he reopened the door and stuck his head in. “You really think I’m here too much?”

Mickey didn’t answer, only gave Ian a small, telltale smirk.

Ian grinned and closed the door again, leaving Mickey alone.

Mickey turned and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He shook his head at himself. 

As much as he wanted to do that again with Ian, he knew he couldn’t.

It was just a big fucking mistake. A mistake he had made twice now; a mistake he didn’t intend to ever make again.

  


* * *

  


 

“We’re going out for Ian’s birthday tonight,” Mandy declared a few nights later.

“Have fun,” Mickey spat, not looking up from his coffee and newspaper comics. 

“Why don’t you come with us?” Mandy offered. “Get out of the house for once. It’ll be fun.”

“I get out of the house to work,” Mickey said. “That’s enough.”

“You know what I mean, asshole. Come out and have fun.” 

“What the fuck,” Mickey said, finally looking up with a scowl. “What’s with you wanting me to hang out with you and Ian all of a sudden?”

Mandy walked to the coffee pot to grab her own coffee. “Just being nice, shithead. Don’t want you to feel left out.” 

“Trust me, I got better shit to do than hang out with you and Raggedy Ann all night.”

Mandy rolled her eyes as she sipped her coffee. “Whatever. While you’re sitting here alone, being a loser and wasting space, Ian and I will be out getting ourselves laid.” 

Mickey didn’t like the knot in his stomach that Mandy’s words caused. He stared unseeingly at his comics, trying to seem nonchalant. Just the thought of Ian going out and fucking someone else made him uneasy. He hated himself for even feeling that way. He should be ecstatic that Ian was going out to fuck someone else. “Where the fuck’re you two going?” he asked coolly. 

“That new club The Male Box over in Boystown.”

“The fuckin’ Male Box? Seriously?” Mickey retorted. “You want me to go to a fuckin’ gay bar called the Male Box?”

Mandy shrugged. “Come or don’t, but don’t say I didn’t invite you.”

Later that night, Mickey found himself standing in the middle of The Male Box, alongside Ian and Mandy. He kept telling himself that he was just taking Mandy’s advice; getting out of the house and having fun for once, but he knew the real reason he had come out was standing next to him, grinning like a moron and wearing fucking glitter and eyeliner for Christ’s sake.

Why was he attracted to the idiot again?

Mickey looked over and caught Ian’s eyes, and then his breath caught in his throat. Oh, yeah, that’s why.

“What do you two want to drink? I’m buying!” Mandy yelled over the sound of the thumping music, breaking the moment.

“I’ll take a vodka tonic!” Ian exclaimed.

“Beer,” Mickey said. He then watched as Mandy walked away to get their drinks.

“Thanks for coming tonight,” Ian said once they were alone, having to lean in a little so that Mickey could hear him over the music. “I know this isn’t really your thing.” 

“Never said that,” Mickey said distractedly as he watched a hot man wearing nothing but booty shorts and a smirk walk past.

“Are you seriously checking someone out right now,” Ian asked incredulously. 

“Yeah. The fuck’s it to you?” Mickey asked, quirking an eyebrow. He took in the jealous look on Ian’s face, both secretly pleased and terrified by it. 

Ian looked away, his jaw taut. “Doesn’t matter to me. You can look at whoever you want.”

Just then, Mandy returned with their drinks, holding them over her head so they couldn’t spill as she was slightly jostled around.

“That was fast,” Ian said as he took his drink, the giddy smile no longer on his face.

“Bartender let me cut in line,” Mandy said, her tongue poking playfully at the corner of her mouth. “Gay guys love me.” 

“Obviously,” Ian replied with an exaggerated tone and roll of his eyes.

Mickey sipped his beer as he took in his surroundings, secretly feeling uncomfortable and trying hard not to show it. He felt like a third wheel in a place he didn’t want to be in.

“I'm gonna go find someone to dance with,” Ian suddenly declared, throwing Mickey a meaningful look before heading out to the dance floor.

Mickey watched after Ian, wondering what Ian was trying to pull. He hadn't missed the cocky quirk of Ian's eyebrow. He then watched as Ian walked up to a hot guy wearing a green boa and a grin, and he realized what Ian was doing. Mickey scoffed as he watched Ian and the guy grinding on the dance floor. He definitely didn't miss the wink Ian threw him over the guy's shoulder.

“Looks like Ian snagged a hottie already. He didn't waste any time,” Mandy said from beside Mickey, unaware of her brother's inner turmoil as he watched her best friend dance with someone else. “We probably won't see him again for the rest of the night.”

Mickey watched as Ian grabbed the guy's ass, and that sent him into motion. Fuck Ian. Two could play that game. He started heading into the crowd, only for Mandy to grab his arm.

“Where are you going?” 

"You want me to have fun, don't you?" Mickey asked. “I'm going to go have some fuckin' fun.” He pushed his way through the crowd, in search of someone hot and willing. 

He would prove to Ian—and to himself—that the weird shit happening between them meant nothing. 

Mickey wasn’t used to any of it; wasn’t used to pressing through a crowd of sweaty, gyrating bodies in search of a fuck. He usually tucked himself into a corner and eye-fucked guys until someone bit and came to him. He didn’t know what the fuck he was doing. When it got to be a bit too much, he decided to give up and let Ian win, and began making his way through the crowd back to Mandy.

Someone danced backwards into Mickey, causing Mickey’s beer to spill down the front of his shirt. “What the fuck, dickhead!” he exclaimed over the music.

The guy turned around, his expression softening a little as he eyed Mickey up, obviously liking what he saw. “Oh, no… you’re all wet,” the guy uttered flirtatiously, his tongue playing around the tip of his straw. 

Mickey resisted the urge to roll his eyes, because seriously? Fucking cheesiness aside, the guy was hot, so Mickey decided he would go for it. “Fuck it, you wanna dance?” 

“With you?” the man asked, eyebrow arched. “I’d love to.” 

Mickey fought off another eye roll, and then he grunted when the man wrapped an arm around Mickey’s waist without warning, pulling him closer and flush against his body. 

“Look at that,” the man whispered into Mickey’s ear. “We're a perfect fit.” 

Mickey bit back a sarcastic remark as the guy pulled back. He finally got a good look at the guy’s face. He had a nice face, was even wearing glitter and eyeliner just like Ian, but he didn’t look nearly as good wearing it. He pushed thoughts of Ian out of his head. 

“Name’s Jared,” the man said as he continued gyrating against Mickey. “And you are?” 

“He’s with someone.” 

Mickey looked to find Ian standing next to them, his jaw taut and his eyes glossy. He found himself pulling out of his new friend’s arms. “The fuck are you doing?” 

Ian finally pried his eyes away from Mickey’s dance partner, his expression softening just a little. “You made your point, Mickey.” 

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mickey said with a shrug as he casually sipped his piss-warm beer. “I’m dancing.” 

Ian smirked and tilted his head in question. “You really wanna dance with him?” 

Mickey’s eyebrows shot up in answer. 

“Okay,” Ian finally said, his voice almost inaudible over the music. “Okay, I got it. Loud and clear. I’ll leave you alone.” He then dropped his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “Have fun,” he muttered before turning and getting swallowed up by the crowd. 

After dancing for a couple more songs, Mickey snuck away from his new friend Jared after he’d gotten distracted, and made his way back to Mandy. When he found his sister standing with someone who wasn’t Ian, he frowned.

“Ay.”

Mandy looked away from the conversation she was having, a smile on her face. “Hey, where the hell were you?”

“Dancing,” Mickey snapped. He then eyed the schmuck standing next to his sister, who was obviously intent on sealing the deal at the end of the night. He gave the guy a warning glare before looking back at Mandy. “Where’s Ian?”

“He went home.”

“What do you mean he went home?” Mickey asked. “We just got here an hour ago. It's _his_ fuckin' birthday.”

Mandy shrugged. “I don’t know, he said he wasn’t feeling good, so he went home.” She then shot Mickey a look and nodded a little in the direction of her new friend, hinting at Mickey to fuck off.

Mickey sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face. “You okay here if I go?”

“Yeah,” Mandy said a little irritably. 

Mickey turned to Mandy’s new friend. “Let me see your wallet.”

The man straightened a little, a frown on his face. “Excuse me?”

Mickey held out his hand palm up and wiggled his fingers. “Your wallet, asshole.” 

Mandy sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. “This is my brother. Just show him your wallet.”

The man reluctantly pulled his wallet from his back pocket and handed it to Mickey.

Mickey opened the wallet and pulled out the man’s ID, committing his name and address to memory. He then handed the man back his wallet and patted him hard on the shoulder a few times. “Try anything fuckin' stupid with my sister, I know where you live, asshole.” He then leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to the side of Mandy’s head. “I’ll see you at home later.” 

“Yeah, yeah, now get out of here,” Mandy muttered before turning back to her friend. 

Mickey left the club and pulled out his phone once he was on the sidewalk. Just as he was about to text Ian, a voice off to the side caught his attention.

“Good luck trying to call an Uber. I’ve been waiting for fifteen minutes already.”

Mickey sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as he eyed Ian. He didn’t look very comfortable sitting on the cold, dirty ground, his head pressed back against the brick wall behind him. 

“Where’s your dance partner?” Ian asked after a tense pause. "You two looked pretty chummy."

Mickey sighed and cursed under his breath before walking over to Ian and sliding down against the brick wall to sit down next to him. “You’re fuckin’ dramatic, you know that?” 

Ian smiled a little at that, even though his eyes were sad. “Who, me? No.”

Mickey fished his pack of smokes out of his pocket and lit one. He took a deep drag before handing the cigarette to Ian. He then watched out of the corner of his eye as Ian took a drag. 

When Ian handed the cigarette back to Mickey, their fingers brushed and their eyes met. 

Mickey swallowed thickly, wishing Ian wouldn’t look at him like that. “You know we can’t happen, Ian.” 

“I know,” Ian said sullenly before scrubbing a hand down his face. “I know that. Doesn’t stop me from wanting it to happen, though. I… I like you, Mickey. And I really like fucking you.” 

Mickey looked away and finished off the cigarette. He flicked it away before speaking. “I… like when you fuck me, too,” he finally said. He then looked back at Ian, hating how vulnerable and hopeful he looked. “Fuck, I like you, too, alright. For some fuckin’ reason.”

Ian turned a little so that his bent knees were angled towards Mickey.

Mickey swallowed thickly as he reached up and rested a hand on Ian’s left knee. He could feel himself slipping, no matter how hard he was trying to remain steadfast in his decision. He knew he should stay away from Ian, knew it was all a terrible fucking idea, but, for some reason, he was drawn to him.

He didn’t want to stop.

“We can be careful,” Ian muttered, leaning a little closer. “Mandy won’t ever have to know. We can be… friends with benefits, and we can stop it whenever we want to, no strings.”

“Just like we’ve been able to stop it these last couple weeks, huh?” Mickey asked thickly. His eyes slipped closed when Ian leaned in even closer and nuzzled his nose in Mickey’s hair. 

“We can be careful,” Ian said again, lower that time. "I can be careful."

“You’re a dick,” Mickey rasped. He squeezed Ian’s knee and licked his lips. 

“Did you really wanna dance with that guy?” Ian murmured, his nose and mouth still in Mickey’s hair. 

“Don’t ask me that,” Mickey said, pulling away. “If we’re gonna do this, you don’t ask me that shit. It’ll be just fucking, and that’s it. If you…if we fuck someone else, we don’t talk about it, alright?” 

Ian frowned a little. “So, you wanna have rules?”

“I think we need to, yeah,” Mickey said. “If we’re going to keep this secret and casual, there needs to be rules.” 

Ian nodded, even though his eyebrows furrowed a little.

Just then, the uber Ian had called finally pulled up. 

Ian waved at the driver, and then glanced at Mickey. “So, are you staying here with your new friend, or are you coming?” 

Mickey stared back at Ian, the decision already made minutes before. “Yeah,” he finally answered. “I'm coming.” 

  


* * *

  


It happened again. And again. And again.

It had gotten to the point where they had lost count of how many times it had happened.

For the next two weeks, Ian showed up at Mickey and Mandy’s apartment whenever he could while Mandy was at work. Mickey and Ian would usually make idle chit-chat for a few minutes (a formality, really), then they fucked, and then they would play video games as if nothing had happened.

Neither one of them acknowledged the fact that, as the days went on, their kisses became a little slower, a little more passionate. As time went on, their conversations lasted a little longer, became a little more personal. They didn’t acknowledge the fact that they made each other laugh, and that they generally enjoyed just being in each other’s company. They kept it strictly physical, no-strings-attached, as promised. 

One day, after a few weeks of fooling around, Mickey answered the door to find a sullen-looking Ian standing on the other side. Mickey immediately tensed up, knowing right away that something was wrong and not liking it. 

“The fuck’s wrong?” 

Ian entered the apartment and headed for the couch. “Got into a fight with some prick on the street on the way over. Guy called me a faggot and… and I fuckin’ lost it.”

Mickey looked down and realized the knuckles of Ian’s right hand were busted up and bleeding. “Jesus Christ, you kick the guy’s ass or something?”

“Damn fucking right I did,” Ian answered. “It actually felt really fuckin’ good.”

Without thinking too much about it, Mickey grabbed Ian’s hand and brought it closer to his face to inspect the cuts. “Fuck, man, you might need stitches.” When Mickey looked up a second later, the heat in Ian’s eyes caught his breath.

Ian visibly swallowed as he stared back. 

Mickey dropped Ian’s hand, swallowed hard, and then stepped closer, pressing himself against Ian. “Fuckin’ tough guy, huh?” he grumbled, low and gravelly. 

Mickey’s heart was racing rapidly in his chest. He was slightly shaken up and confused by the passionate moment that had just passed between them. The way he had cradled Ian’s bloody fist in his hand; the look in Ian’s eyes as he watched him do it. 

“Mandy gonna be home soon?”

“Not for another two hours,” Mickey said, grabbing a fistful of Ian’s shirt and pulling him close. He leaned in and brushed his lips gently against Ian’s. He moaned. “Want you to fuck me.”

Ian palmed his large hand around the back of Mickey’s neck and kissed him hard. 

Mickey reached between them and grabbed a hold of Ian’s shirt. He pulled back from the intense kiss long enough to pull the material up and over Ian’s head. He took a moment to smooth his hands over Ian’s chest and torso before leaning back in for another kiss. 

Ian reached between them and began undoing Mickey’s belt. “Wanna fuck you right here. On the kitchen counter.” 

“Fuck. Yeah,” Mickey gasped breathlessly when Ian shoved his hand down his pants and began to stroke him on just the right side of too hard. “Yeah.” 

Ian leaned in and roughly took Mickey’s bottom lip into his mouth. He then began walking backwards, pulling Mickey with him by the hips.

Mickey chased Ian’s mouth and allowed himself to be led to the counter island. “Fuck, man, get these fuckin' pants off. Wanna suck your dick.” 

Ian pulled back and locked eyes with Mickey, his lip quirking into a cocky little smirk as he reached down and began slowly undoing his pants. Before he could get his belt undone, however, the front door began unlocking.

“Fuck!” Mickey hissed as he bent down to grab his shirt from the floor. Thankfully, the chain on the door stopped it from opening all the way, giving the two of them enough time to finish dressing. 

“Open the door, asshole!” Mandy exclaimed.

Mickey looked over his shoulder just as Ian plopped down on the couch, smoothing out his ruffled hair. Mickey then ran a hand over his own hair, rechecked his clothes, and then walked to the door. Just as he unlatched the chain, he heard the video game system start up behind him. 

Mandy pushed her way inside and tossed Mickey an odd look. “Why was the chain latched?”

“I don’t know,” Mickey snapped. “Must’ve fucking latched it without thinking. Why are you home? I thought you worked until eight.”

“Got off early,” Mandy answered. 

Mickey swallowed thickly, his heart still racing in his chest. He eyed the bag of take-out she had with her. “Smells good, what’d you get?”

“Indian,” Mandy said as she walked further into the apartment. She then noticed Ian sitting on the couch and halted a little. “Oh, I didn’t know you were here.” 

“Yeah, hey,” Ian said with a crooked smile. “Just came to hang out… to play video games.”

“Oh,” Mandy singsonged, throwing Mickey a smile. “Hanging out with Ian when I’m not around now? Never thought I’d see the day.”

“It’s whatever,” Mickey grumbled, desperately wanting to change the subject. 

Ian stood up. “I should go. I told Fiona I’d help with the kids tonight.” 

Mickey rubbed at his lower lip, avoiding Ian’s eyes at all costs.

“Jesus, what happened to your hand?” Mandy exclaimed.

Ian looked down at his bloody hand, having completely forgotten about it. “Uh…”

“And why is there blood all over you?” Mandy looked at Mickey. “And it’s on your neck and in your hair. What the hell were you two doing?”

“I, uh,” Ian stammered. “I… got pissed off when Mickey started beating me at the… the video game, so I punched the table. Messed my knuckles up.”

“So, why’s there blood all over Mickey?” 

“He, uh, slapped me over the back of the head at one point, must’ve gotten me then,” Mickey quickly said. 

“You idiots and your fuckin’ video games, I swear to god,” Mandy said as she headed for the kitchen.

Ian tossed Mickey an apologetic look as he headed for the door. “I’ll, uh, I’ll text you later, Mands.”

“Okay!” Mandy called out.

Ian threw Mickey one last look before leaving.

Mickey scrubbed a hand down his face and closed his eyes, hoping with everything in him that Mandy would talk about something else besides Ian; anything else.

Mandy walked back into the living room and handed Mickey an open beer. Just as he was taking a sip, she said, “So, you and Ian seem to be getting along pretty good these days.”

Mickey nearly choked on his beer. “Uh, yeah. I guess.”

“It’s about time. I was starting to think you two would never get along. See, I told you he wasn’t so bad.”

“He’s alright, I guess.” 

“Well, just know that I think it’s a good thing. Nothing better than my brother and best friend getting along,” Mandy said as she sipped her own beer. “C'mon, come eat. Don’t want it to get cold.”

Mickey followed his sister to the counter island—the very counter island Ian had been about to fuck him on only five minutes before—and he couldn’t help but feel like shit.

  


* * *

  


The next day, Ian showed up just as Mickey knew he would. He smiled lecherously when Mickey opened the door and leaned against the doorframe. 

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Mickey said, trying not to eye Ian up too much. He wasn’t ready to start something up at the moment. They needed to talk before anything else happened. 

Ian laughed when he realized Mickey wasn't inviting him in. “What’s going on? Can I come in, or not?”

“Yeah, sure,” Mickey said, stepping aside and allowing Ian to enter. 

As soon as the door was shut, Ian had Mickey pressed back against it, the air whooshing from Mickey’s lungs from the force of it. Ian’s lips were on his before he could protest; pliant and warm and moist. Mickey had no problem kissing Ian for hours, but he knew they couldn’t. Not until he said what he had to say. He pressed a hand to Ian’s chest and forced him away. 

“Ay, man, we need to talk.”

Ian stepped back, the smile no longer on his face. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” Mickey echoed. “Are you fuckin’ kidding me right now? We need to talk about what happened yesterday.”

“What happened yesterday?” Ian asked with a frown.

“Don’t play dumb, man,” Mickey snapped. “Mandy almost walked in on us.”

“Yeah, but she didn’t," Ian replied coolly, reaching for Mickey again.

Mickey recoiled. “She fuckin’ could have, if I didn’t have the fuckin’ door locked!”

Ian scratched at the back of his neck. “Okay, so… we fucked up. It was bound to happen at some point. But she didn’t catch us, so we’re good.” He then reached out for Mickey for a third time, and frowned when Mickey backed up out of his reach yet again. "What are you so afraid of, Mickey?"

“Look, I just think that maybe… maybe you shouldn’t come around here as much. We can still bang or whatever, but… Mandy is starting to get suspicious, I think…” Mickey paused when he saw a weird look cross Ian’s face. He then watched as Ian nodded curtly and turned away. “We just need to cool it down a bit.”

“You’re right,” Ian finally said, even though he didn’t sound too sure of that. “We’re getting sloppy. I get it. Can’t have Mandy finding out we’re… banging.”

“Ay, look—”

“No, Mickey, I get it. I do,” Ian said as he began pacing a little. “This thing between us… it’s not serious, right? No-strings-attached. Just two friends fuckin’ each other when we get bored. We can’t risk Mandy finding out about us. Wouldn’t be worth it, right.”

“Ian—”

“Right? That’s all we are," Ian asked, his voice wavering. "Friends?”

Mickey sighed. “I’m just…it wasn’t even supposed to be like this. It was only supposed to happen once.”

“Yeah, well, it’s been happening for the past fucking month now,” Ian exclaimed. “So, it’s still just fucking to you, even after all of that? I thought we…” 

“See, this is exactly what I didn’t want to happen!” Mickey shot back. “Now you’re making it fucking weird. I didn’t want it to be weird! I just want to step back a bit, what don’t you fuckin’ get about that?” 

Ian nodded stiffly and glanced away, his eyes glossing over with tears. “I’m just gonna go. I’ll see you later.” 

Mickey just stood there and watched Ian leave. There was so much he’d wanted to say, but was too afraid to. So much he wanted to admit, but couldn’t. He slowly sat down on the couch and scrubbed a hand down his face.

Mandy finding out would be the least of Mickey’s problems.

Actually admitting that he had feelings for Ian scared him more than fucking anything. 

  


* * *

  


Mickey looked up when Mandy and Ian entered the apartment a few days later, back from their shopping trip. It was the first time he’d seen Ian since Ian stormed out the other day. He tried to catch Ian’s eyes, but it was clear that Ian was avoiding looking in his direction.

Mandy placed her shopping bags on the counter island and threw Mickey a pointed look. “Maybe you can talk some sense into that idiot,” she said, glaring at Ian over her shoulder.

Ian sighed and rubbed at his eyes. “Mandy, can we not do this.”

“The fuck’s going on?” Mickey asked, slightly transfixed by the despondent look on Ian’s face. He found himself immediately wanting to make Ian feel better.

“Ian decided to break it to me over lunch today that he and Nick are back together,” Mandy snapped. She then glowered at Ian once more before heading towards the bathroom. “I’m going to take a shower.”

“What the fuck? You’re back with that fuckin’ douchebag?” Mickey exclaimed in an uneven tone once he and Ian were alone, and he heard the shower turn on.

Ian didn’t bother looking up from pouring himself a glass of iced tea. “Yeah. He came over last night to talk. He apologized, said he missed me, and—”

“So, that’s all if fuckin’ takes, huh? The guy saying he’s sorry, that he won’t treat you like shit again? As if that isn’t the biggest fucking line.”

Ian finally looked up, his eyebrows furrowed. “What’s your problem?”

“You’re a fuckin’ idiot, that’s my problem,” Mickey snapped. “You’re so afraid of being alone, you’re willing to just accept being treated like shit, huh?”

“Oh, this is fuckin’ hilarious, getting relationship advice from you,” Ian spat, his face lighting up in a taunting grin. “Are you fuckin’ kidding me right now, Mickey?”

Mickey scrubbed a hand down his face and began pacing, not wanting to admit that the very idea of Ian being back with Nick made him feel sick to his fucking stomach… for reasons he wasn’t ready to admit to yet. “You think you have a relationship with this guy? He’s only using you for your fuckin’ cock.”

“Okay, and how does that make him any fucking different from you, huh?” Ian shot back. He then laughed dryly. “Seriously, Mickey. How is he any different from you? For the past three weeks, every time I’m here, we fuck, and then you act like you don’t want anything to do with me. At least he’s puttin’ in some type of fuckin’ effort.”

“Fuck you,” Mickey snapped. “Do whatever the fuck you want to do, man. I don’t fuckin’ care.” He turned to head towards his bedroom, his whole body trembling. 

Once his door was closed, he leaned back against it and let out a shaky breath. 

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, punching the wall. He then shook his aching fist and held it against his chest before sitting down on the edge of his unmade bed.

It wasn’t supposed to fucking be like that. He was never supposed to feel like that. Feeling anything at all was what he had been trying to avoid all along, and he had fucking failed.

He failed. 

  


* * *

  


A few nights later, there was a knock on the door. Mickey groaned as he stood up from the couch to answer it. He didn’t know who he’d expected to find on the other side of the door, but, for some reason, it hadn’t been Ian. 

“Mandy’s not here,” Mickey said glumly. 

“Came to see you.”

“Now’s not a good time.”

A look crossed Ian’s face then, and his eyes averted over Mickey’s shoulder to peer into the apartment. “Oh,” he said softly. “Do you… are you…”

Mickey realized what Ian was asking. “I’m alone. I’m not fuckin’ anyone. Not that it’s any of your business.”

Ian’s brows furrowed. “What are you mad about, Mickey? Seriously. What are you so upset about? You’re the one who just wanted to _bang_ , remember? You’re the one who said I shouldn’t come over so often. You made it clear that I’m just a fuck to you, so why get so fuckin’ upset when I tell you I’m getting back with my ex? I thought you’d be fuckin’ thrilled.”

“I’m not doing this with you now,” Mickey said, moving to shut the door, but Ian stopped him. “The fuck…”

Ian pushed his way into the apartment and got into Mickey’s personal space. He kicked the door shut behind him and then grabbed Mickey’s wrist.

“The fuck are you doing?”

“Talking…" Ian retorted, "and you’re going to listen.” 

“The fuck I am.”

“Jesus, Mickey, will you just let me fuckin’ say this?”

Mickey stared up into Ian’s eyes, his throat feeling tight. “Fine,” he snapped. “Talk.”

Ian didn’t move away, only gripped Mickey’s wrist tighter. “I broke up with Nick after I left here the other night.”

“Good for you,” Mickey retorted, avoiding Ian’s eyes. “That all?”

Ian sighed and pulled Mickey closer. He then gripped Mickey’s hips and continued. “No, that’s not all. I broke things off with him because I want you. I want to continue things with you… whatever the fuck this is…however you wanna do it. We'll do it however you wanna do it.” 

Mickey swallowed thickly a couple times, and then finally lifted his eyes to Ian’s. “Did you fuck him?”

“We’re not supposed to ask each other that stuff, remember?” Ian asked with a small smirk.

“Now’s not the time for fuckin’ jokes, asshole.”

“No,” Ian answered seriously. “I didn’t fuck him.”

“Fuck off,” Mickey sneered, pulling away.

“I didn’t,” Ian reiterated sternly, re-establishing his grip on Mickey’s hips. “I didn’t touch him. He wanted to fuck, but I kicked him out before things went too far.”

Mickey gnawed on his bottom lip for a few seconds, before finally leaning in and pressing his forehead to Ian’s. 

Ian smiled and reached up to cup his hands around Mickey’s face. “I know we’re not together, or anything… that it’s just fooling around. But I don’t… I won’t fuck other people if you don’t fuck other people. Can you at least give me that much? That's all I'm asking.”

“I’m not fuckin’ anyone else,” Mickey grumbled. “Haven’t fucked anyone else.”

“Okay,” Ian said, with an affirmative nod of his head. “So…let’s do this.”

“You really wanna do this? You’re okay with sneaking around for awhile until I’m ready to tell Mandy?”

Ian shrugged. “I just want you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Mickey leaned in and rocked his forehead against Ian’s. He took a deep breath, and then said, “Well, let’s fuckin’ do this, then.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was sitting in my drafts for a while, so I decided to finally post it. Also, while rereading, I realized my smut is a little rusty, but it is what it is! Leave me some love! :)


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